tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post7941986686334666944..comments2023-09-19T09:39:57.766-04:00Comments on THE GALACTIC GAZETTE: THE PUZZLED PENISH. Philip Asterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00970489392681184111noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-16678473177426852412022-02-26T11:35:00.947-05:002022-02-26T11:35:00.947-05:00Casino Sites
The top casino sites in the UK are Be...Casino Sites<br />The top casino sites in the UK are Betfair, BetVictor, William Hill, SpinMyBookie, NetEnt, William Hill, <a href="https://www.casino-roll.com/%ec%a1%b8%eb%a6%ac%eb%8b%a4.html" rel="nofollow">축구 토토</a> BetVictor, BetVictor, <a href="https://www.goyangfc.com/%ec%95%bc%eb%8f%99%ec%82%ac%ec%9d%b4%ed%8a%b8%ec%88%9c%ec%9c%84.html" rel="nofollow">bet365가상축구</a> 888 Casino, <a href="https://casinosites.one/max88.html" rel="nofollow">힘 숨찐 챌린지</a> William Hill, 🏆 Best Casino UK: <a href="https://www.poormansguidetocasinogambling.com/%ec%b9%b4%ec%a7%80%eb%85%b8-%eb%94%94%eb%b9%84.html" rel="nofollow">검증사이트목록</a> William Hill💰 Top No Deposit Bonus: Paddy Power🎲 New Casino Promo Code: No <a href="https://www.goyangfc.com/%ec%98%a8%eb%9d%bc%ec%9d%b8%eb%b0%94%ec%b9%b4%eb%9d%bc%ec%82%ac%ec%9d%b4%ed%8a%b8.html" rel="nofollow">사이트추천</a> Deposityobachijacqueminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09374234688064071744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-17205897601617564882011-06-15T13:30:48.153-04:002011-06-15T13:30:48.153-04:00E.K., Thank you for your informative response. Yo...E.K., Thank you for your informative response. Your reaction to your chance encounter with your girlfriend's friend's panties is very intriguing. I will have to keep that one in mind for tantalizing my guy. ;-) It is very curious (and thankfully, very enjoyable) that such serendipitous erotic moments exist. And, yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly about the potentially disastrous consequences of repressing our humanness. I'll to have look at your other posts. Have a great day!Karennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-78496189266487195052011-06-15T09:38:56.831-04:002011-06-15T09:38:56.831-04:00Karen: thank you for the kind comments. In regard ...Karen: thank you for the kind comments. In regard to your question pertaining to whether such behavior (using a mother's or sister's undergarments for sexual arousal) is common in adolescent boys, I have to say I really do not know. Candidly, that would not be something that I would be even remotely interested in, nor was it a subject of interest to me as a boy. Indeed, the word "repulsive" leaps easily to mind. However, I can tell you that panties belonging to <i>other</i> women can, under the right circumstances, be remarkably titillating. Allow me to provide an example. Once, when I was 25, one of my girlfriend's friends stayed with me for a couple of weeks while she was in the process of relocating to the area. Suffice to say she was comfortably situated at the attractive end of the personal-beauty spectrum. One evening, I discovered (purely by accident) a pair of her (shockingly small) underwear in the washing machine. This was an electrifying experience, I can tell you. I remember holding them up and staring at them in wonder, like a priest who has chanced upon a lost and priceless artifact behind a hidden door in the sacristy. I seriously contemplated stealing them and telling her that they must have been eaten by a rat that had come up through the water line, but reason prevailed and I reluctantly returned them to the washer. <br /><br />On another note, I am proud of you for what is apparently an enlightened approach to child-rearing, at least with respect to sex issues. The oppression of our natural, instinctual, congenital, human impulses nearly always has disastrous consequences. There are too many examples to name, as I am sure you know.H. Philip Asterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00970489392681184111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-32164919143611177602011-06-14T14:35:19.026-04:002011-06-14T14:35:19.026-04:00Hi, I love this post and the title! I'm just ...Hi, I love this post and the title! I'm just now reading this book and it is hilarious! I just want to ask, is it common for adolescent boys to use their mother's and sister's undergarments for sexual arousal? Also, kudos to your mom for being so open minded! I try to be the same way with my kids (sons). In fact, I’m urging them to read this book, although I hope it won’t turn them off too badly that I, their mother, recommended it. <br /><br />KarenKarennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-58095041176820524902008-06-03T17:10:00.000-04:002008-06-03T17:10:00.000-04:00whoah, uhhh i really loved thiswhoah, uhhh i really loved thisKendra Grant Malonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13517158839198076819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-16683740934402569642008-05-19T08:35:00.000-04:002008-05-19T08:35:00.000-04:00Well, I always seem to be exposed to something new...Well, I always seem to be exposed to something new when I read this and I have to say, "Alligator Fuckhouse" was pretty good. I am currently sun-burnt and sandy from a long day of revelry at Palmetto Bluff and brainstorming how to work "Alligator Fuckhouse" into my champagne brunch conversation tomorrow.<BR/><BR/>Finding myself smiling and shaking my head as I read through, I couldn't help but recall a favorite Mencken essay regarding artists--he felt that artists differ from the rest of us mainly because they react sharply and in an uncommon manner to phenomena which leave everyone else unmoved or merely vaguely annoyed. As I have had numerous beers and have been sitting in the sun, I will borrow his compliment.<BR/><BR/>As always hilarious, scandalous and charming. This might very well make you the Ralph Waldo Emerson of masturbation musings.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-60058902494461264932008-05-13T13:33:00.000-04:002008-05-13T13:33:00.000-04:00Guapa: No one has ever accused me of having infini...Guapa: No one has ever accused me of having infinite wisdom. Usually people tell me that I have <I>finite</I> wisdom, which I imagine is much less of a compliment. I think it has something to do with the set of real numbers, but I'm not sure.<BR/><BR/>November 08: thanks for bringing the always-exciting "voice of moderation" to this discussion.<BR/><BR/>My guess is that, the way things are going with those kids, you are likely to wind up with a couple of lesbian exhibitionists - which is, coincidentally, the precise name of one of the usenet groups I belong to. <BR/><BR/>I imagine it really must be difficult to know what to teach children in this era of conflicting values. Tolerance is a very good place to start. Sadly, there is very little of that going around these days.H. Philip Asterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00970489392681184111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-83577398999653109402008-05-13T00:08:00.000-04:002008-05-13T00:08:00.000-04:00Your infinite wisdom never ceases to amaze me. No...Your infinite wisdom never ceases to amaze me. No doubt.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-52536651109777423422008-05-12T22:33:00.000-04:002008-05-12T22:33:00.000-04:00Wow. I laughed. . . I cringed. . . especially whe...Wow. I laughed. . . I cringed. . . especially when I saw the comment from your mom. YOUR MOM read this blog. Obviously she is quite forward thinking.<BR/><BR/>I have several small children of my own, and struggle with the (rather frequent) occasions when my carefully considered idea of modern, non-repressive child rearing clashes with lightning speed gut reactions that seem to be unavoidable. For example, we all know that it is normal for children to enjoy being naked as well as touch themselves in an exploratory fashion, and that it is not appropriate to punish, frighten, or otherwise chastise them for doing so. However, I would like to see any parent have the intestinal fortitude to smile warmly and say nothing when you realize that your 3-year-old has removed her underwear in the grocery store and is delighting in a gratuitous display of her rear end to innocent bystanders. (Obviously a discussion about the appropriate time and place for nudity ensued --but it is quite the balancing act to explain these issues without sounding like the Puritans). Just today my four-year-old asked me (again in the grocery store check-out line, where I apparently spend an inordinate amount of time), if girls can marry girls. I was actually gratified to hear that an older sibling had told her that yes, girls can marry girls. I am the last person on earth who would try to dictate to my child whom they could or could not marry -- however I must admit that I inwardly squirmed when the older lady in front of us turned to see how I would respond to this legitimate question. As parents, we are under a lot of pressure to impart values such as tolerance and self-love to our children while giving them a general idea of what society at large finds acceptable.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-9100546362523353462008-05-11T11:48:00.000-04:002008-05-11T11:48:00.000-04:00Anonymous,Uh?Anonymous,<BR/><BR/>Uh?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-13302637013628380862008-05-11T01:15:00.000-04:002008-05-11T01:15:00.000-04:00There are three books that all American males must...There are three books that all American males must read in order to mature into full-fledged adults with an adequate understanding of one of the most important parts of the world around them. They are: "Lady Chatterley's Lover", "Catcher in the Rye", and "Portnoy's Complaint". There are those who find and ravage them early, like when they are 18 years old or so. Other males stumble upon them in a haphazard fashion over points of time scattered out over a number of years. Falling into the latter group is not justification for ridicule from those who had the pleasure of earlier discovery. Rather, they should wonder if their wanderings among the female beasts of the earth without the benefit of all the great adolescent literary pornography was deficient in any respect. For example, they should ask: Did I hesitate to nail, even once, a warm and willing partner because of religious or moral principles? If the answer is No, coming upon one, perhaps, even two of the fountains of lust somewhere in the vicinity of middle age is no cause for alarm. View it (or them) merely as battery chargers then conclude that being exposed to the trinity sooner would have made little, if any difference, in all that came before the final discovery. To those who have been able to limp along the path of promiscuity without the benefit of Lawrence, or Salinger, or the other guy, I say, they carry a gene deeply embedded like the one for gray eyes. If properly nourished, the gene will produce behavior not unlike that of the young men who highlight all the juicy passages and carry the paperbacks in their fanny pouches. There is one lesson taught by all three of the works. It is never written, of course, that would be injurious to the author's livelihood. Nonetheless, it is there, plain as the letters on every page. It goes something like this: 'Reading about sex is like kissing your sister...nice and friendly and conducive to family harmony...being a participant rather than a voyeur is the key to having your own pornography in your head rather than someone else's.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-1141235569118841472008-05-09T16:50:00.000-04:002008-05-09T16:50:00.000-04:00I love your mom!I love your mom!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-57897981212226852842008-05-09T15:50:00.000-04:002008-05-09T15:50:00.000-04:00Good grief, Edward! What can I say? How do I feel?...Good grief, Edward! What can I say? How do I feel? SHOCK & AWE! Good Grief!<BR/><BR/>Seriously - I feel compelled to respond to this. I have many thoughts buzzing. Shock and Awe. Oh I said that. OK. First of all, you are absolutely right on target. Why all this shame thing came, who knows. My mother certainly passed it on to me in full measure. I was 21, teaching school and still eating drumsticks in the school cafeteria because I could not request a BREAST to be placed on my tray. True, I could not utter the word!<BR/><BR/>I knew this couldn't be good and was determined not to raise my children with such hang-ups. Apparently I succeeded, at least in your case. Some would ask - Did I go to far? No, this you have done all by yourself and you have dragged the rest of us kicking, screaming and yes, laughing along with you.<BR/><BR/>You, along with help from your sisters, have stretched, pulled, pounded and reshaped me into the person I am today. Sometimes it scares the hell out of me, but it is called being honest and at peace with myself and that is a good thing.<BR/><BR/>I want to finish by saying I am very proud of your incredible talents as a thinker and a writer and I am just a little bit proud of myself for any contributions I may have made.<BR/><BR/>MomAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-14857412589343655362008-05-08T08:22:00.000-04:002008-05-08T08:22:00.000-04:00Putting aside my natural impulse to place my hands...Putting aside my natural impulse to place my hands over my ears and chant "na na na na na" over and over again, I would like to relate one brief anecdote your excellent and thought compelling blog brought to mind.<BR/><BR/>My sister-in-law has a nephew who just turned one. To protect his identity we'll call him "Jerry." The instant little Jerry finds himself without a diaper, his tiny right hand snakes south and clasps his penis like it is a door knob. And he holds onto it, without letting go, until he is re-dressed. (This story is even cuter if you are aware that Jerry has a birth defect in his right arm and hand -- one wonders if and at what age he might "switch hands" in order to work a little better magic on himself.)<BR/><BR/>Anyway, Jerry's instinct is profound and adorable. And his parents are just young and stupid enough to be doing the right thing without knowing it -- namely, leaving the poor kid alone. You wouldn't tell a kid not to touch his nose or his knee cap, would you? How absurd that we decided to brand one body part "bad" and "dirty." Especially absurd when you consider it is hands down the most fun part of the human body.<BR/><BR/>Also, I met Roth a number of times when he was teaching at UNCW -- I wish I had read this particular book before then; how much fun would it have been to quote from it when talking to him at parties and in the hall at school?<BR/><BR/>As always, EK, you've managed to make me laugh and cry. Keep up the good work. Not that work, dirty boy, the WRITING.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-40974013099098502032008-05-07T11:07:00.000-04:002008-05-07T11:07:00.000-04:00I hate it when the comments are more clever than t...I hate it when the comments are more clever than the post. <BR/><BR/>I had to look up <I>Alligator Fuckhouse</I> and <I>Cincinnati Bowtie</I>. I was appalled. Do people really do these things?H. Philip Asterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00970489392681184111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-57835671239360789922008-05-07T09:00:00.000-04:002008-05-07T09:00:00.000-04:00Dick, insightful comments on an equally insightful...Dick, insightful comments on an equally insightful post. I wholeheartedly agree with your "grab life by the balls" (quite literally) mantra. <BR/><BR/>I do believe that this U.S. society represses sexuality more so than any other country I've ever visited. Okay, that's only been three. Regardless, they were all sex-lovin' topless-beach-havin' places of erotica. I mean, from what I could gather peering at the ads in magazines at the airport. <BR/><BR/>Speaking of which, for a country of Puritans we sure do focus a lot on sex in order to make money. "Hey, Johnny, look at this sexy and salacious Sally stretched out on this salon chair, spread-eagle, lip-licked, hair-flicked... Uhn. Doesn't it make you want to buy our minty fresh aftershave? Johnny...? Johnny! Stop touching that! You eat your eggs with that hand?!"<BR/><BR/>Johnny... the proverbial lemming. Led along by the promise of sex only to find a right hand full of Man-gel's New & Improved Fresh Blast aftershave.<BR/><BR/>And we wonder why half of all marriages end in divorce. Of course, if the Rules of Marriage could just be revised, nay *tweaked* a wee bit, I think we could have more... interesting... and successful couplings. In all the ways you can think to couple.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-12024836583046091972008-05-06T21:42:00.000-04:002008-05-06T21:42:00.000-04:00The Rusty Trumbone. The Abe Lincoln. The Alligator...The Rusty Trumbone. The Abe Lincoln. The Alligator Fuckhouse. <BR/><BR/>We are a species completely obsessed with sex. We have pet names for our genitals. We have monikers for different positions. There are even lists outlining the most creative pornographic film titles (http://www.wikiporno.org/wiki/Best_Porn_Movie_Names)! <BR/><BR/>Face it: we listen to it, we watch it, we read about it. And, of course, we do it. And what’s wrong with that? If it feels good and no one gets hurt – who cares? <BR/><BR/>Well, according to the latest tabloid headlines, the lack of sex ed in our schools and evangelicals calling for chastity vows (yeah, it increases interest in anal sex) – apparently, we care! <BR/><BR/>But why? Why do we care what the boy next door is doing in his bathroom with the Victoria’s Secret catalog or if the Murphy’s like to play Little Bo Peep and Her Very Insubordinate Sheep? Who cares if Phillip is a glorified pickle kisser? <BR/><BR/>We weren’t born with this inherent judgement of or guilt about sex. But if a parent's response to a child's curiosity lays a foundation for healthy sexual attitudes, it’s a wonder any of us are even here at all:<BR/><BR/>“Don’t touch your naughty bits because it shouldn’t feel good.” <BR/><BR/>“Looking at that thing in the mirror is dirty.”<BR/><BR/>“Installing a sex swing in your guest room is wrong.”<BR/> <BR/>As adults, we need to stop the cycle. Learn to accept that clashes between our secret (and very human) thoughts and what we’ve been taught by our parents, teachers, religious and political leaders (excluding Bill Clinton; he’s on our side) causes guilt. And the whole purpose of guilt is to stop behavior that they consider in violation of standards outlined by religion and society. And when we feel guilt, they’ve really got us by the balls. <BR/><BR/>And this goes far beyond just sex:<BR/><BR/>“You can’t love Lamar because he’s not Jewish.”<BR/><BR/>“You shouldn’t date Barbara because she’s black.”<BR/><BR/>“I won’t let you be gay.”<BR/><BR/>Stop letting other people define your standards! Such lofty and unreasonable expectations, coupled with conflicting feelings about sex, get you...well...Catholic clergy, Jim Bakker, Jerry Falwell, Jim McGreevey, Larry Craig, Eliot Spitzer, my childhood friend’s parents (salacious wife swap with the neighbors - w00t!), and 50% of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third ending in divorce!<BR/><BR/>So, Alexander Portnoy rejected conventional morality, but it overwhelmed him with a guilt complex from which he could not escape. He wanted hot, sweaty monkey sex with his ideal woman. But, he was conditioned to believe that he should have a normal, loving family with a nice Jewish girl. And it ultimately left him impotent – completely unable to enjoy much of anything. <BR/><BR/>Regardless of what you think your parents want for you or what your religion dictates as God’s law, go find your fantasy. Grab onto him or her, and create your own definition of a normal, loving relationship. And while you’re at it, flick your own bean. Festoon your own May pole. Give your significant other a Cincinatti Bowtie or even a Birmingham Booty Call.<BR/><BR/>In fact, can I watch?<BR/><BR/>Ha! Just kidding! That made me leak a little bit of urine...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-9107554525742279752008-05-05T16:24:00.000-04:002008-05-05T16:24:00.000-04:00fab, E.K.! helping to make all the horny men of t...fab, E.K.! helping to make all the horny men of the world feel more wholesome and pure.<BR/><BR/>you're just jealous that your first wasn't named Bubbles. (what was your second grade teacher's name again?)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-47727196527563130552008-05-05T15:02:00.000-04:002008-05-05T15:02:00.000-04:00I have no doubt your book reports did look somethi...I have no doubt your book reports did look something like this back in the day! (And I bet the subject matter of this piece of work resembles the descriptions of your extra-curricular activities included in your first resume.) You took us all back to comic relief with this one, and it was hilarious! I sure do hope your parents enjoy it too. They're always so proud of your work.<BR/><BR/>(Have you looked into national syndication for this blog??? What a novel idea!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17598462.post-90094178391423030412008-05-05T08:58:00.000-04:002008-05-05T08:58:00.000-04:00Holy shit. This is hilarious - particularly the co...Holy shit. This is hilarious - particularly the conversion ratio for Young Earth Creationists. I'm guessing, however, that you don't have too many of those folks reading this blog.<BR/><BR/>(Is this what your book reports looked like in high school?)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com